Breaking Up With Your Thai Girlfriend

Last updated: May 15th, 2016 | in Thai Girls

If you have ever been in a relationship with a Thai girl (or woman) you know how great it is hanging out with her and she giving you the feeling you are the coolest man on earth. You might also agree with me when I say that Thai girls make better girlfriends than western girls. However you will come to this point sooner or later, after a few months, or after a few years when you ask yourself if you wanna stay with her for the rest of your life.

Or if you think you have enough of her for whatever reason: You are bored and want to look for someone new, she has cheated on you, she just sucks your money, she is boring, she becomes fat etc. Then you know it’s time to give her a run and to break up with your Thai girlfriend.

But breaking up with your Thai girlfriend is a lot more complicated than getting into the relationship in the first place. And here comes the thing. Another “phenomenon in Thailand” like I call weird aspects that I only know in Thai culture – and here’s another one:

A Thai girl will never break up with you.

Breaking Up With Your Thai GirlfriendMeans if she doesn’t break up it’s only you that can make the relationship end. Sounds pretty weird but that’s the way it is. I’m not saying that Thai girls are always happy and accept all your mistakes give your bad behavior a smile, Thai girls do get angry but usually that’s just for the moment and the next day the world is fine again. Your Thai girlfriend will always forgive you.

Whenever I had been in a relationship with a Thai girl for a few months it was me who broke up and what I usually say is that I don’t feel ready for a serious relationship at the moment. I never tell her the real reasons, like I want to meet other girls, that I already have another girl or that I don’t feel attracted to her anymore. This way you avoid her getting mad at you or just not accepting you break up with her because she thinks it’s her fault and she has to make you feel better. I just feel that’s the easiest way and the good thing about it is I often keep her as my friend or gik.

Giks, well obviously after a few months my girlfriends find out I have some and if they do, they indeed tell me things like “if I know you meet her again, we will break up” but then even if she does, she won’t break up. She might get angry, not do your laundry and not talk with you for one evening, but she won’t break up. So why is that? Why can we do whatever we want but our Thai girlfriends don’t break up with us?

My explanation is that she thinks in the long run she will „win“, means the longer you are together the more likely you are to fall in love with her and don’t go after other girls anymore. And besides that, as long as she’s on a financially solid ground – whether she earns all her money through her own job, partly with your help or exclusively with your help – then she’s also willing to endure a lot. Because having enough money for a decent life is always the top priority in Thailand.

Maybe you guys have different thoughts.

About Redcat


Redcat lives his dream by living and traveling in Thailand. On Thailand Redcat he shares his experiences and advice to all aspects of (night)life in Thailand. Redcat is also fluent in Thai both spoken and written and is the author of the books Thai Beginner’s Course and Thai Love Course.

32 Responses

  • Joseph says:

    I do not know if I agree with this article. In a lot of ways, I wish what was said was true and I would not be writing this comment. I did not meet a bargirl, I met a working girl (worked at a bank, definitely not a bar girl) who was the girlfriend for 5 years. She had all my social media passwords that I gave her to show I was doing not anything. She provided hers in turn which I never checked or wrote down. She checked my phone and saw Iwas chatting with a girl, my coworker, and accused me of wanting to be with her. Then she reviewed anyone who was female and not related to me by family and started contacting them using my devices. The she would delete the conversations so I would not find out, and not say anything but would start acting distant around me (not answering phone calls, claiming she is too busy with her boss, etc). I only found out cause other female friends asked what was up with your girl contacting me, and yet another who refused to chat with her tell me she put up a fake facebook page to act like she was a friend of the girl (herself) who was dating me to get more information. When confronted, she would defend and say why she could not, that if she is a girlfriend, she can do it. As one of the other posters said, stopped giving her money, and she left and found another saying she does not want me because I am a “liar.” The irony was so thick you could cut it with a knife. She now blocks me on all forms of communication and widely posts on her social media photos of herself with comments about how the next guy “spoils” her. Yea stupid me. I purposely avoided bar girls because you know the games played but apparently it is not just reserved for bar girls.

  • Steve says:

    Never trust a bargirl
    We were together for 2 years
    I got engaged to a bargirl
    We bought land and house
    Soon as I paid for the house she stopped talking to me
    She tell me she is pregnant-and shows me video of her doing pregnancy test.
    She had got into a lot of debt buying things for the house-400000 ( or so she said)
    I said she would have to wait for the money.
    Next thing she moves to bangkok and working in a restuarant? I suspicious and when I said I would send a friend around to see her-she admitted to being a bargirl.
    A few days later she said she wanted to go on hoiidays with me. But I had to pay long time every day plus expenses.
    My view is that Thai bar girls will take and take and take. They are only interested in the money.
    They cannot wait for the money.
    They are greedy and cannot be trusted. Check other websites for similar stories.

  • Mick says:

    I have been seeing a Thai lady off and on for a couple of years we met in a bar so you know where this is going Anyway I was thinking about making a serious relationship with her we got on really well and the sex was good etc anyway to give you the 10 cent version we started to talk about getting serious I asked her about getting a job she was home helping her family but she said she did not want to work a normal job (red flag) I then checked out her social media stuff which I never did and found out she was engaged (fucking big red flag) when I fronted her about it she lied through her teeth and I still don’t know the full story
    She then blocked me on fb to try and hide any other issues I could ask questions about (A huge Red Flag) all the time telling me she loves me (Bullshit) So we have gone our separate ways she still wants to stay in contact (keep me around for a rainy day) Well that ain’t happening, so my advice is to find one that works in a normal is independent and try and build a relationship from there, Once a bar girl always a bar girl is my approach now and I advise don’t get emotionally involved with bar girls if you can (I know it’s hard sometimes but just use them like they are using you)

    Cheers Mick

  • Paul says:

    You never lose a Thai girlfriend. You just lose your place in the queue..

  • oracle says:

    Here goes…i got a stunner in isaan ….4 years..i held off….paid her out of debt..bought tv..fridges .washing machine …motorbike…her favourite “glow”..;lol….10,000 a month..but not a day went buy..she didnt mention houses and babies…she was shes 67kg still looks ok…the touch of an isaan women(hot one) divine and very hard to let go…i will never ever date a western women again…isaan chicks are lazy lol….love baby oil…and LOVE SHOPPING AND EATING….did i say eating….she wont talk to me me unless shes eaten three times a day…chicken /sticky rice..and snake fish/papaya salad lol…..there naive and laugh at anything…loreal is her go to conditioner…im an idiot…i got a stunner and im wanting to break up with her..purely on the fact that i wont adjust my lifestyle for her benefit( going back to work)…it cost money..time.. emotion and responsibility in marrying and having a family…something i a free spirit with many options available…i wont forget her…but her dreams will be someone elses soon…i think best way to break up is just tell her to her face or farang style change number or dont answer calls for a couple of months and out of the blue give it to her…youll always think about that light tanned…tight breasted…moist lips…sensuous body…long dark haired…princess …under the covers…its fcking my mind state as i write this…only people who have dated a beautiful isaan woman can fully understand the mesmerizing spell she can cast on you…its a fckin shame think some other bastard…is going to enjoy a once in a lifetime chick..and ive had a few…sawadeeka!!!!

    • Andrew Davie says:

      Tried not returning calls.
      Month or so passed and she started messaging again.

    • Jeff says:

      Oh Dear!!!!! I can relate to this comment 1000%, I just broke off with my Issan girl, she was so pretty with long hair that hung down to her bum and 30 yrs my junior but ……..starting to drain me financially for this that and anything else she could think of….lucky my brain rules my heart and dick so I decided it was time to cut loose from her….and go back out there and play the field again

  • Jean says:

    im dating my Thai gf now and will stay 2 months in bkk I want to find a way to stay with her if it’s working well (Thailand or bring her back home) I red every post about it but still I’m not sure what to look out to see if she is really in love or as soon as I leave bkk and wait for to be back, she will just meet other guys. I guess I will never know but what sign will give me a good clue that she is serious? ( I know she told me she had other foreigner bf but they broke up because it was too hard for them to trust that she won’t see someone else. Any intelligent opinion please?

    • D. Stuart McCreadie says:

      I have been coming to Thailand now for over 25-years; first working on MRT and BTS in Bkk and in the past 9-years in residence during which time I went from being naive to absolutely naive and now I believe still gullible where Asian girls are concerned. On reflection having travelled and worked in over 70-countries are Thai women, educated or otherwise, really any different to girls back home? Here I had experiences with girls from the bar and ‘caught a cold’ many times but it didn’t stop me coming back for more because in terms of quality they were far superior to the likes of my ex-wife and girlfriends prior to that UK marriage, Here I met two educated single girls, no baggage from good families, both wanting marriage and I have to say after a period of a year or so they were just like my ex; not money grabbing but dictatorial and used their womanhood to get want they wanted. With both families being wealthy there was another problem because they wanted the farang connection and were pushy to the enth degree; all the while no let-up from the girls plus chaperones, yes ‘chaperones’ always close at hand! In the end I broke off both relationships as courtship was just like those in my early UK days. Moving on I met girls from the bar and messed up big time there too but I found that most had really bad experiences with foreign or Thai guys and had suffered one way or another insofar as pregnancies, unaware of the farang having a family at home, not being as flush as the guy had them believe, promises of marriage etc. In one case a really stunning girl met and married a guy from the US who went home alone after the ceremony to break the news to his family. Within seven days he was back demanding divorce otherwise his parents were going to disinherit him! Well doom and gloom aside I met my wife now of 15-years, educated, great family, loving, doting and totally dedicated to our home, tight as the proverbial ‘duck’s a…e’ and still looks as good and trim as ever because she believes it important for our marriage. So I would say that in the final analysis women are women the world over and there is no secret formula simply look to yourself first as often the answer lies there.

    • Michael says:

      It’s an unrealistic expectation to think any LDR would work. Don’t be a fool, lots of these girls freelance on the DL.

  • shamus says:

    Strange break ups… I spent 6-7 weeks with I thought was a lovely girl in Rayong…we clubbed (Thai) a lot and got a bit pissy… she also liked gambling… 500 baht here and there. She had her own business and appeared fairly nice. We has sex every day… nothing exciting like oral or anal… but she had a great bod (very pale) and came quick so I was happy. However over a 3 day period she got really drunk… lost about 5000 baht gambling and got a bit funny. The next morning she took several thousand baht from me and came back 8 hours later happy. She gave me back the money…I didnt know she had taken it and she took me out for dinner. We went clubbing again that night and both got a bit pissy again… She told me all this when we got home and wanted sex… when finished she went on more… apparently she had lost the money but did several tricks in pattaya to get it back… hum! After an hour she wants more sex and this time oral… hum… no problem. I’m seeing a pattern here… get more booze from the fridge …talk more… not happy jan! So its time to dump her but she doesnt seem to listen… she wants more sex… I gave it to her anal… never saw her again after that, very quick breakup… still miss those boobs though.

  • Barry A says:

    Most farang don’t realize that when they take on a Thai girl they are also taking on her extended family and in some cases their debts as well, In my experience Thai girls see the farang as a career move, bar girl or everyday girl. They have to survive and it’s hard for them to work the long hours that employers demand and still have enough time to keep their farang happy. As is said treat them mean keeps them keen. Sadly I cant do that and am still looking for the mythical self supporting girl. After 4 years I have had no luck, Spent a lot of money but had a good time trying. On a positive note age is not an issue for a Thai and when I consider my chances in Europe as an over 60 male I must concede my opportunities here are a lot better even if I do have to pay out a bit.
    My advice, go in with your eyes wide open, try to keep your options open and keep your ticket out open. Don’t try things here that you wouldn’t consider doing in your country of origin. Finally if you can’t afford to play the game don’t come here thinking it’s a cheap solution.

  • raj says:

    i had a long one and half year relationship with one thaigirl..i notice some good bad of her..thats true if thai girl really loves you that from all her heart but most thai girls having craziest mind for her i m having family already she many times jealous to my wife that i dont like i m already married she must understand that.

    as she divorced with her husband i m support her monthly about 30000b but she cnt stop thinking with her crazy mind about my family.from a month i m start ignoring her will see what happen in future

  • waty lkr says:

    I too realy want to hav thai girl as my girlfren and also spend the rest of life with needs ur help, where do i hav to get start?and is it possible to get a decent girl who can accompany for the rest of my life?

  • Ck says:

    Just break the 4 month relationship with reason I unable to support her the financial.

    From the beginning she also never ask for money. But she start telling a story after 2 months together. For me I also think that this relationship will not lasting because she was the person like to spend but no working!

  • miles says:

    It is really easy to break with a Thai girl till her that you will convert your self to a Kratoy .

  • mr v says:

    Sorry can i ask whats the name of the girl in the pic? Im “dating” a girl looks similar…

  • Miles says:

    Well Guys there are always exception but generally spoken Thai girls are lazy not sporty at all
    ( it is a miracle that they became Asian volleyball champion last year)easy to get down on not at all fate full low education university level is the same level as college back home .
    80 % of the girls have done any form of prostitution like bar girl ,escort service,coyote girl,sugar daddy ,mia noi, part time hooker,massage girl etc…Prostitution is every where in Thailand at work shopping mall’s etc.. Phuket.Pattaya , sukhumvit NaNa is just peanuts 75% of the prostitution is for the domestic market and 25% is for the farrangs.
    Forget the bar girls they not even that bad I know so many bad girls with a normal job who
    are an expert on lying (gohok)
    I love Thailand but the girls are generally spoken hopeless this is not only my opinon a lot of farrangs do share my thoughts and have been around thailand a long time as well .

    But the good news is that a lot of Thai girls start to understand that their bull shit stories
    do not work any more that often because of the Internet a lot of foreigner guys are on
    their guards after they have been reading stickman Bangkok articles on the www etc

    When a thai girl starts to talk to me I just start to laugh I don’t take them any more serious .

    Could some one explain me why there are so many books written about bad Thai girls
    Just have a look at the book self at the national airport of BKK and you can see it for your self.
    When I go to Kennedy Airport,heathrow ,Charles the Gaule I never find there books written about how bad American,English or France girls are!?
    Last but not least No hard feelings this is just the way how it is.


  • Mervyn Lee says:

    Dear Redcat,

    Need your help on this.
    She was a total sweetheart, cooks for me, cleans my room, wash my clothes.
    All this when I was staying in Thailand for 5 months.

    I was so happy with her everyday while I was in TH.
    Everyday I can stay in her room and she never once ask me for money.
    We traveled everywhere in TH, pattaya, chiang mai and even her hometown Phitsanulok (met her family)
    I feel she is different from the other girls but I know i can never truly be with her.
    Due to social stigma and age difference
    It was all just a beautiful summer romance. :'(

    I know it’s cruel to treat her like that, but how do i break up with her in the nicest possible way?
    Do u have the Thai script to what u advice here? “I don’t feel ready for a serious relationship at the moment.”

    My friend advice me to drift away from her, I tried that but she keeps messaging me and buying me gifts awaiting for my return to Thailand after Christmas.

    Please help! and give your tips in steps that i can take, because i really want the best for her and to move on.

    • Redcat says:

      Hi Mervyn,

      there is no general rule on how to break up with a Thai girl. Yes you are right if a Thai girl really likes you and you spent at least a few months with her and she fell in love with you it’s quite an act to make the relationship come to an end, I can tell from my own experience. Writing her in Thai that you are not ready for a serious relationship at the moment might be a good idea:

      ผมรู้สึกไม่พร้อมสำหรับการมีความสัมพันธ์จริงจังในขณะนี้ “I don’t feel ready for a serious relationship at the moment.”

      If she doesn’t accept it all you can do is just ignore her. It might still take a while, she writing you messages or tries to call you but by just ignoring (or blocking) her she should accept it after a couple of weeks.

      Sorry to hear this story :( Hope this helps.

  • Derek says:

    I’ve gotten used to the idea (even comfortable) with ‘paying’ directly, because indirectly cost me more. e.g. Renting a girl versus marrying her, giving her parents a huge dowry, bahts of gold.

    I learned this lesson in the PI when I first met a girl working at the local supermarket. (Not bar girl) Her parents pressured her, in turn she was a brain dead zombie (a pretty one) who did everything her parents asked of her, which in my case was; borrow money from said foreigner. I courted her in traditional Filipino fashion being held on display where the parents and older siblings asked me questions.

    End result, 15k pesos later I said, “Tell your parents to stop asking me for money, money is tight right now, etc.) Her parents then said, “If you give us money to buy a brand new motorbike you can see her as much as you like. You can even accompany her to Manila for a trip to pick up medicine. (Alone)

    I quickly found out that buying a bar girl was much more honest and agreeable up front. They were selling their daughter only I was getting pounded and at any time they could call her back like a golden retriever.

    Not to get too far off topic, I’m finding it extremely difficult to break up with my Thai girl. In the end, I will have to fly out of Thailand to see my dying sick mother (who can feel rejected for that?) Then I will come back with a new SIM card and on to the next girl.

    I’ve tried breaking up with her, asking her to leave, telling her to leave.. It’s just not happening.

    So, I will break out of jail and go where she cannot. Come back incognito. This is what got me out of my PI relationship, it’s a tried a true method which has helped many a men. I will have to employ this once more.

    Those of you who can juggle many girls without serious blow-back or consequences are magicians to me. I don’t know how you pull that trick off, but I’d like to know.

  • Mark S says:

    Yes I think it’s important to find a girl who has her own money and can support herself. I don’t enter into relationships at the current time (keep it casual / dating) so it’s not an issue for me atm but if I decide to get back into one it will be with a girl who has a job and doesn’t expect any contribution for me, it’s harder for me though as I’m over 50 and a lot of the younger girls will be looking for ‘something’ even if not a direct payment every month.

    • Robert G. says:

      Yes it is all about the money! My case is if I don’t send her money she thinks I don’t care and she always threatens to stop with me. I tested her and sure enough, she stops. And yes I think she wants only money, I even got her K-1 visa, and still she thinks if I not support her I don’t care for her. No matter what you do, To be with a Thai girl you have to give them some money or they will look somewhere else. I have been going to Thailand for the past ten years and I have not found a woman who not look at me without checking out my finances first, unless she’s a working girl. My woman now thinks I don’t care because I have not sent her money in the last month. It takes about 4 days before she will call me and think everything is ok. And ask for money. Even though she has her K-1 visa, I am not the only man in her life. My advise is to find a Thai girl that never worked in the sex industry. Thats your best chance. And if your rich enough she will be yours. I know because it happened to me.

  • Mark S says:

    I think what Chris is saying is that if you stop financing her she’ll break up with you. That assumes you are financing her in the first place which you are right you didn’t mention.

    I would guess that most guys in Thailand are giving their gfs some sort of financial contribution but I don’t really like the idea either. I prefer to keep it casual with girls and that way I don’t have to pay for anything other than a cheap date.

    • Redcat says:

      Hi Mark,

      thanks I got it now. Well yes that’s quite true for a lot of Thai girls. Though still they wouldn’t say “let’s break up” but rather “oh tonight I am busy” if you ask them out. And you can always come back to a Thai girl no matter what mistakes you made, that’s what I was trying to say.
      Apart from that there are more and more Thai girls with ordinary and decent paid jobs who aren’t out for money only. Like my current student girlfriend, she works as a tour guide part time and she never expected any financial support (so far).

  • chris says:

    Not true. Stop giving her money or a place to live shell drop your ass

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