No Money No Honey? Why You Shouldn’t Give Money To Your Thai Girlfriend

Last updated: June 12th, 2016 | in Thai Girls

Her family’s buffalo has died. Her family’s house needs to be renovated. Her brother has died. Her child needs money for going to school. You might hear one of these stories at some point from your Thai girlfriend and that doesn’t necessarily have to be when you are with her in Thailand but also when you come back to your home country and try to keep a long distance relationship with her for a few months when she suddenly comes up with some of these weird stories to make you send her money.

Money that she can support her family with.

That might be the truth but in 99% of the cases it’s a lie. Doesn’t mean that she really needs to send some money to support her family that lives in the village sipping Sang Som all day.

Once I worked in Asoke, Bangkok for a few months in Soi 23 not too far from Soi Cowboy and it was interesting to see some chicks indeed lining up in front of the bank in the evening before going to work (and I was coming from work) to transfer some money they made last night to their family. More common is they take three or four days off every three or four months and hop on the bus back to their home towns carrying some cash in their pockets – sometimes because their parents don’t even have a bank account.

I never had a Thai girlfriend that asked me for giving or sending her money. The only time I give money to my girlfriend is when she asks me to borrow some to pay her tuition fees for studying because her salary isn’t out yet. And then sometimes I buy some small things for her but that comes from my side to make her happy and not because she ever asked for anything.

Maybe that’s because I never had a hooker as my girlfriend. In other words I never had a relationship with a Thai girl that didn’t have a normal job or a student who doesn’t get supported by her family. My current uni girlfriend lives on 6,000 Baht a month that her dad gives her and she is totally fine with it, not seeking sideline income, just being some normal Thai girl.

No Money No Honey Don't Send Money To Your Thai Girlfriend

And then of course you have all the chicks who’s only source of income are funds from their Thai or foreign guys and how often I have met an older guy telling me with his believe-me-I-stayed-here-for-years-I-know-how-things-are-in-Thailand attitude:

You have to give her money or you will lose her.

If I ask about his girlfriend then normally it turns out she’s another typical hooker. While you will for sure lose such a Thai girl if you don’t give her money (which doesn’t mean you can get her again once you’re back in Thailand) you don’t know what she’s up to if you really send her the money she is asking for. As in 99% of the cases if she says she needs money it might be true but not for the reason she tells you. The reason is that she’s not able to generate income from a normal job as she doesn’t have one.

I remember the chick I hooked up with on my first visit to Chiang Mai in 2009, we met in the club she took me to her apartment we had sex and the next thing she tells me is she has a Norwegian boyfriend who sends her a few thousand baht every week to support her and her baby. Weird and funny at the same time as I was 20 back then and she like 30 and the fact that she paid for all the bills (food, cinema, taxi) let me doubt again if she really had a baby that she had to spend money for or if it was just me who was the baby.

Another example? Picked up some girl in Bangkok Beats Club in Nana, she took me to her room in On Nut but asked me to promise being quiet while skyping with her Dutch boyfriend. Maybe that’s a better example for not to pick up girls in Sukhumvit (except for one night stands) but again that guy turned out to send her money on a monthly basis and apparently it seemed to be better invested in her 50 inch Samsung flat screen and new iPhone than in some new buffalo up in Isaan.

There’s nothing wrong with paying the bills for you and your Thai girlfriend while you are with her or buy her some presents if she makes you feel good but once she asks for money to invest in whatever you are warned now.

About Redcat

Redcat

Redcat lives his dream by living and traveling in Thailand. On Thailand Redcat he shares his experiences and advice to all aspects of (night)life in Thailand. Redcat is also fluent in Thai both spoken and written and is author of the books Thai Beginner’s Course and Thai Love Course.

15 Responses

  • cg says:

    Some time ago I started to talk and chatt with a girl in northern Isaan. 30 years old, no children, still living with her parents.

    I’m good friend with her sister who is married and lives in Europe. My intention was to invite the sister to Europe and see if we could start a family. Suddenly, the sister from Isaan starts telling me she has borrowed money from a friend and then lent it to another friend who can not repay. And the friend she borrowed from need to get the money back within the next few days. Therefore, she begs me to borrow her 30 000 B as soon as possible. Also she asked me not to tell this to her sister in Europe.

    I tried to say that we must first agree if we both are aiming for a serious relationship. Then we need to figure out how she can come and visit me in Europe in order to learn to know each other and decide if we really want to try to start a family.

    Then we can sit down and find a suitable solution to repay old debts. But no, she wants to borrow money first ! “Please help me. I have nobody else to consult. I am very stressed with this issue.” and so on.

    I am just a ordinary person with a honest proposal and very little experience of Thai girls. Knowing the European sister and respecting her as a good women is the only reason I try to show some patience while red flags are popping up all over my mind.

    Any advice from experienced people in this forum would be appreciated!

    • Professor says:

      No woman you haven’t f*cked is worth 1 baht. And even after that. She has money problems and she’s lying to you too. Do you really want to father children with a woman that will bring you nothing but problems? The answer is to let that bird fly. Her debts aren’t your problems. And if you give her the money you will never see her. Guaranteed.

  • Jts says:

    I married a Thai girl in 1999 she was 20 and I was 46 . It seemed like a dream come true , you get caught up in this rush of what you hope is love . After the marriage , I sponsered her and brought her to America . It was not long , the mom was calling for money for a loan for a pig farm loan she could not pay . It was everything about getting the money to home , one excuse or scam after another . I took her back in 2001 and we sent 3000 dollars , she said to pay for vacation to Chiangmai, we went from near Seka in the issan to there during songkran , stayed two nights and mother in law said money lip loi finished . Got back to their home paw got a new motorcycle. No party was held either . Came back home , bought a new mobile home and within months the wife was having an affair . A guy I worked with his wife held arrange the marriage . It was her brother, I was told they were cousins but not sure . In 2002 , the marriage together ended. She had not got her unconditional visa status removed . I went back to Thailand in 2002 and when I came back her Thai boy friend was there and I did not know or arrived as I was leaving . After I got home I found out . Her green card was to expire but they came back together a few days before and she went to live here with him and his parents. I had enough so I went to immigration and stopped my sponsership . In a few months they started deportation proceedings against her . In 2004 , she divorced me . They got an attorney to fight for a stay in immigration court but were denied 3 times . By spring of 2009 my ex wife was told by attorney go home or risk being picked up . She and boyfriend went back to Thailand . She has tried to come back but immigration says no . The family kicked me to the curb and no remorse for all the money time and heartache . My advise , think hard and long before you marry a thai woman , I have not seen many that do not exhibit the same type of character here . I know there are good people in Thailand somewhere but I don’t trust now .

  • Steve says:

    My girlfriend, now wife, basically has asked for nothing… However, before we married I did draw up a paper and went through a lawyer, basically with a repayment schedule for the money I had “invested” in her cosmetics shop, plus around 380,000 baht, from I debt she incurred paying for her mother’s medical bills after our first year as girlfriend/boyfriend… We all sat down nd went over the paper before she agreed to everything and put pen to paper..
    now, as far as living costs. clothing and such, I pay for that, I have also bought two motorbikes for her and her boys, and gave them a older car I was going to scrap anyway.
    The way I see it is her shop will do very well, it already is, and the wife is a determined and very hard working lady, with two teenage boys who are going to go into university in a year or so.. I feel I’ll get touched up for some fees, but maybe half of them, around 44,000 each.. Here is her rationale, they and her, will take care of me when I get older, I’m 64, she’s 36…. so, far, we’ve had bumps in the road but basically we are pretty solid, been together three years now.
    Sure she gets stick from some of the people we have met, the ladies always seem to ask her how much I give her for salary, and are aghast when she says nothing, they all shriek, “he HAS to pay you, you should go away from him, why do you stay..? ”
    She knows I won’t give her money and her family has been amazing, they genuinely seem very happy that we are doing well and that I have got her business and her future well on the way, btw, I have never been asked for a penny from any of her family, all hard working and lovely people.
    So, for the time being, I think I have things under control, even if we split up, she has agreed to honour her debt, as her parents, esp her mother would be shamed if she didn’t, and we know how much Thais respect their parents, not to mention the legal action.
    The best thing I can ever suggest is what I was told by a old expat when he first met my wife, ” make boundaries and stick to them…she’ll make a big fuss but too bad, if she really cares, she understands, otherwise walk away…”

  • TIT (This is Thailand) says:

    How’s this one …….I have no money for my baby’s milk, can you help me? No I really can’t help you….please please, my baby is Soooo hungry…..no I can’t help you……please……I really have no money and my baby is hungry….look here’s a photo of her on my new iPhone 6 which I bought yesterday……..

  • Terry says:

    Awesome stuff!

  • mike says:

    We all pay for sex, always have, always will. doesnt matter where you live or where you come from.
    Do the math, be honest with yourself.

    • BS Button says:

      You’re fooling yourself, Mike. Whether I buy my girlfriend anything has nothing to do with her wanting me. Never have I given a girl anything that prompted her to be naughty. She may have hugged me hard or beamed all day, but she didn’t parachute into bed.

      Sure, I’ve made her happy, and that may have made things more fun, but you can’t buy the love and affection.

      Desperadoes pay for sex. It’s obligatory, empty. And it’s over when the meter runs out. You can hear the clock ticking.

      Thanks, OsnapMillerTime, for the tip on the ladder theory. It puts things into perspective.

    • Nathan says:

      You’re either a massive chode/nice guy white knight or really old if you go to Thailand and pay for sex brotha. I fucked three girls before I met my girlfriend and didn’t pay shit. This took about three weeks and I barely even tried. I paid for most things when with my girl, because in reality I do have way more money, but I made her pay for some things and she gladly obliged. Have to make her work. Then I rewarded her with sex like 4-5 times every day. The girl has to invest in the relationship, too. It shows she actually gives a shit about you and wants you for you, not your cash. Otherwise you are just getting used.

      • Nathan says:

        Additionally, just to make this clear. I was in a very shitty guesthouse when I met each of these women. I never talked about money at all with them. My girlfriend now knows that I do some type of engineering, but has no idea how wealthy I actually am…and she never will. If she ever asks for money (thank god she never has, massive red flag) that will be a deal breaker for me, as I know her parents make enough to support her (both are skilled professionals) without my help as she goes through university.

  • OsnapMillerTime says:

    I think if anyone has NOT read the “ladder theory”, you should probably read it now.

  • miles says:

    If you are 30 years her senior you simply have to pay otherwise she will be gone !
    Put it the other way around Im having a relationship with a lady who is 30 years my senior
    I can tell you one thing she will pay dearly for this !( it just makes me feel throwing up when I think about it having sex with a girl who is 60 years old Oh my dear lord)
    The other good thing about paying money is you can control her easy .
    money= a great tool in order to get things quickly done .
    Farangs are complete idiots with Thai girls .
    Now days it is so easy to find out what your Thai girl friend is doing give her a smartphone and she will love you for ever but what she does not know is the fact that the smart phone is full with spyware some of my relatives pretended to go back to Europa for to business in order to create a golden opportunity for her to fuck around all of them made pictures of their kig’s( short time sex friends)) she did not know that the pictures with location(GPS) and date went straight to their husband too as well all the chat information of Line,Whats App,Skype,FB ,Gmail,hotmail etc.
    My friends went with all the information pictures, chats hotel information where she was having her kig to her parents, neighbors etc and told them their daughter/friend was a lying bad person .
    A Thai girl hates to loose her face this is the best revenge what you can do she does not like it when you show her picture of her kig around.

    Farangs should clean up their act and get tough with Thai girls .
    We do give them the opportunity to cheat us most farangs are softies .
    I think we have created this problem .
    It would have been better if farangs would have been famous of their nasty actions when you cheat them.
    For now Thai girls just laugh at farangs and call us walking ATM machines .
    I would have done the same call my farang darling ,teerak and bak wan mak mak in order
    to get a nice house why work for Bath12.000 per month at the SCB bank ?
    Lot of well educated Thai people with an university degree are waiting tables in the Regent hotel
    it brings more money in than working at an office !?
    Last but not least don’t come to Thailand for to find a wife this is the worst place to find one normal straight thinking wife .

    If you do not agree with this story I will advise you start to read all the 3000 stories of stickman
    Bangkok and just google you might find out more

    Cheers
    Miles

    • Mike says:

      Have been seeing a girl in BKK for the past 2 years. Why have a regular, because after many years of fucking around, the game becomes tiresome. We hook up whenever I visit as I live in SE Asia and it’s always good fun. I take her out for dinner, occasionally we go shopping to spoil her and sometimes give her some cash to help out, but I refuse to sponsor her and pay a monthly stipend because that’s for mugs. I have witnessed so many farangs support their little tirak only to see it end in tragedy when he discovers how “active” she has been when he’s not around. I’ve had girls who are still more than willing to jump into bed with me despite the fact that they have a new husband back in the EU or UK. I’ve been in bed with girls and watched the hilarious charade as they chat online telling their lovesick BF back in the West that “yes darling I am a good girl, I stay home wait for you” I could recall countless stories of broken hearted Farangs who thought they were living the dream only to discover it’s all a nightmare. Recently my regular girl revealed that she has a BF in the UK who has been sending her 20,000 Baht per month for more than one year. But in addition he has been paying off her loan to buy her family in Isaan a pick up truck valued at more than 1 million Baht. WTF! Mark hate to break it to you mate but you are being royally shafted because she confessed that she doesn’t even love you nor has any intentions to marry you. He’s probably a nice guy like many of the others I’ve met over the past 15 years, but for Gods sake when will farangs wake up and realise that this is the dumbest thing to do. Don’t send them money.

  • If a girl that you are dating asks you for money, it is probably time to walk away. If she asks you for money for her family’s sick buffalo, it is time to run away.

    Although it has never happened to me, I have a friend who helped a girl send text messages asking for money to her “boyfriend” who was back in his home country. Guess she needed some help with her spelling lol.

    I have however had a Thai girl who I use to hook up with get butt naked on a webcam for me. All while she was sitting in her soon to be husbands two bedroom condo that he rented for her while he was working back in Oz.

    They are married now. Just before they got married she got a hold of me on her cousins phone and wanted to come meet me. Luckily, it fell though because I would have felt somewhat dirty about it. Best to not fuck with someones wife, even if they will never find out. Girlfriends are fair game, but wives and families is just not something I think should be fucked with.


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