Thai Lesbians and Tomboys – What’s it all about?

Last updated: June 16th, 2016 | in Thai Girls

Thai Lesbian and TomboyIt’s just Wednesday and I’ve already seen four Thai lesbian couples this week while walking around Sukhumvit Bangkok. I have been staying in Bangkok for quite some time now but I just recently started to spot more Thai lesbians than ever before. For me there is no doubt that the number of Thai Lesbians in Bangkok is on a record high. But why?

Not that I have a problem with it, there will always be more potential Thai girlfriends than I can possibly even talk to. So is it just because there are more Thai girls than Thai guys and girls find it hard to find a boyfriend? Thailand has a population of 63.5 million of which 49.2% are men and 50.8% are women. That means there are potentially 680,267 Thai women who are not able to find a (Thai) boyfriend. Is this the reason? Rather not since the phenomenon with lots of Thai lesbians is quite a new one and demographic figures have been more or less stable for at least the past 20 years.

Before I let you know what I think is the reason for the record high of Thai lesbians in Bangkok here is how they appear in the public: The girls are holding hands (which is unusual for Thai hetero couples) they are kissing (which is absolutely unusual for Thai hetero couples) but most interesting is the phenomenon that  most of the time one of the girls has short hair like a guy, dresses like a guy and is totally average looking (Thais even have a term for her, they call her Tom – ทอม) while her girlfriend is extremely beautiful and has long hair. Thais call her Dee – ดี้.

There are a few theories to answer the question why there are now so many Thai lesbians in Bangkok and I have talked to several people about it and among the many explanations that are being produced this is the one I think makes sense most:

These Thai girls have made too many bad experiences with relationship with Thai guys. It’s quite common for Asian men in general and Thai men in particular to see a woman as a kind of, well, accessory, some tool to play with. This may sound a bit hard and for sure there are exceptions but the majority of Thai men are not the most honest boyfriends (according to a statistic published by the Bangkok Post in January 2013 Thai guys are the world’s most dishonest husbands) and therefore Thai women have to do what they are told to by their boyfriend and not just that, it’s quite common for Thai guys to have several girlfriends at a time or how Thai people like to call this – having giks.

So it’s not surprising that there comes a time when more and more Thai girls are just getting fed up with this role in the relationship and start having a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend as they are sure to get treated a lot better and both partners are equal. Well, not quite because here is the funny thing about the whole Thai lesbian phenomenon: The girl with the short hair normally doesn’t only almost look like a guy, she is also playing the male part in the relationship and that means she is paying the bills.

Thai girls being fed up with Thai guys. What we can see here in Bangkok is a sort of emancipation of women in Thailand.

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About Redcat

Redcat

Redcat lives his dream by living and traveling in Thailand. On Thailand Redcat he shares his experiences and advice to all aspects of (night)life in Thailand. Redcat is also fluent in Thai both spoken and written and is author of the books Thai Beginner’s Course and Thai Love Course.

15 Responses

  • Gay says:

    The reason you see hot Thai girls with Tom’s is because they are paying for it, or providing financial support. Also I’ve noticed Alot of Thai girls keep it a secret because it’s taboo in society, because they cannot marry. I’ve done Alot of research on this subject and I think there are tons of lesbians out there, if you see girls together then it’s a possibility, also if they turn guys down for a date or don’t have any guy friends then most likely she is a lesbian. Usually Thai girls with men are about it, you can PM me for more details, I have Alot of experience on this topic.

  • shamus says:

    Interesting… I’ve had 30+ yrs in Thailand and Redcat is exactly right! women in Thailand are fed up with Thai men and being a lesbian has become a thing. However I have had some extremely interesting things happen with this. This is one… I was frequenting a coffee shop / restaurant in Sukhumvit in 2013 and noticed a woman there every day. She was typically Thai, trying to be white, early to mid 30’s 5’2-3″ about 48-50 kg, dressed well. After about 5-6 days I asked her why she came here regularly… she replied she liked the coffee. I agreed and we hit it off… 3 hours later she sucking my cock and taking me up the arse like a pro…I was a bit surprised. This happened for a coupe of days and then she arrives at the coffee shop with another woman and introduced her as he girl friend. Stupid me thinking friend / girl not girl friend. It turns out they we lesbians and worked the local area with lady tourists but both liked a bit of cock every now and then. They said they had never done a guy together but I some how doubted that. One afternoon the second lady tried to stick a 6 inch toy up my bum… I wasnt interested and said so, although they both seemed to like it. This went on for about 3 weeks then the first one was off to Germany for a month or so… havnt seen either of them since. I spoke with them a lot and they both clearly said they would never fuck another Thai man. I also asked why me… the first lady said she liked me because I didnt look at every woman who came into the coffee shop like a slut waiting to hump me… sadly she was wrong!

  • Marine says:

    This is ridiculous, people don’t change their sexual orentation just because they get “fed up” with one gender… These girls are simply gay or bi, and you are seeing more of them out in the open because it’s becoming more accepted. The idea the girls only turn to same sex relationships because of men is so offensive and homophobic, not to mention completely false. Did you get the urge to start s*cking c*ck the last time you had a bad break up with a girl? I’m guessing not, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t what happened with these girls either. The world doesn’t revolve around men.

  • Trueblue says:

    Crappy theories. Women are just more attractive than men in any size shape and form. Saying that women are/turn into lesbians because of relationship trauma or mutated genes (seriously?!) is just an excuse for your incompetence in getting a girl. That’s why all you losers are actually in this forum for advice. Man up and suck it up guys.

    • miles says:

      This is not about getting a girl but about lesbians(stated by you “incompetence in getting a girl “) etc.. Go back to school and learn to understand what you read in your case start with the nursery class first grade and suck up the lesson

  • David F. says:

    Same as Jamaica many new lesbians because of man behaving badly.

  • batiksarong says:

    Ehm… these people you discussed the theories with… none of them were Tom/Dee right?
    Could it just be that they are gay, rather than reacting to being mistreated by men? I’m not denying that Thai men often mistreat women, but it’s men’s wishful thinking that women are driven to being lesbians by men.
    Maybe the Tom/Dee find men repulsive, that’s all.

    The (much) more interesting questions is why Tom/Dee couples are being much more open than they used to- which I also have noticed, but I very much doubt it is due to increasing numbers.

  • miles says:

    You got it wrong .Your story is not correct .
    Check the CIA report on Thailand there are more boys born than girls but due the reckless behavior of the boys like driving motorbike when you are hammered with no helmet will change
    the balance on top of that Thailand has got an average of 300.000 monks (most of them are male) and 400.000 Kratoys plus the 680267 woman makes it 1.380267 woman are not able to have a boy friend hence they don’t have much choice left etc…
    I know many thai girls who did have a bad experience with a thai guy but they didn’t become a lesbian instead of that they went for a farang boy friend .
    What farangs don’t get is the fact that Thailand has got a very high % of bend people .
    I have done some research on this subject . You ask your thai friends what was the % of bend people in their class you will be chocked. i I did ask 25 people this question it turned out to be almost an average of 30% in Europe it is 8,3 % !?
    I think it has to do with mutated genes caused by no regulation on the use of pesticides on food etc..

    • Redcat says:

      Thanks for the comment Miles. I think you are right when you say a lot of Thai girls that made bad experiences with Thai guys go for Farangs not just because they hope they get treated better with a guy from a different culture but also for financial reasons as they often have a baby when they break up with their Thai guy. However that might only be a minority as most Thai girls are shy and even scared of Farangs. They rather look for a rich Asian guy or go for a Tom who cares more about her.

      Your figures about the male-female balance is interesting by the way, true there are more men born but then if you look on the group of people older than 25 it’s more women than men.

      • miles says:

        Most Tom boys and Dee I know had never a serious relationship with a boy.

        The question is how come there is such a high percentage of Lesbo’s Dee Tomboys,gay’s,Lady boys ,Bisexual etc in Thailand ?
        Could it be a mutated gene ?

    • Patrick says:

      What the hell is/are “bend people”. By the sentence that followed, I am assuming they are someone born with a physical abnormality. However, if caused by the food wouldn’t it hit both male and female at virtually the exact same percentage? Making plans to move to Thailand as I write this 11/28/2014.

  • Man, these damn Toms. They are not masculine, they are not feminine, yet they always seem to have super hot girls on their arms. Many of them look like what a typical skinny, computer nerd with glasses would look like. The only difference is the smoking hot Thai girl on their arm. I can’t explain it. Maybe I should be taking lessons from them on how to pick up Thai girls lol.


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