You can’t trust Thai people. You just cannot trust them. They’re all the same. Even Asians say you cannot trust the Thais. Never believe what they’re telling you, every third sentence is a lie. Jesus Christ, why are those people lying so much?
I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. And still, there are so many guys who still believe all sorts of crap their Thai girlfriends are telling them. And more often than not that would be their Thai bar girlfriends. Yes that’s right, even though everyone seems to have heard and seen it all, there are and always will be guys who don’t notice the lies they’re being told by prostitutes all for the one short-term or long-term purpose of getting their money. And then at one point they fall in love with their hooker and stop even questioning things.
They think (and even say it aloud) that she’s different than the others, care about them and wouldn’t have any reason to tell them the untruth. Maybe it’s also the way they’re saying it, with a nice and charming smile on their face and the fact that their arguments and explanations are always convincing.
Here are 11 of the most common lies you get told by Thai prostitutes and if you hadn’t read this, you would probably believe it or not even think about that it could potentially be a lie:
1. Thai Prostitute doesn’t tell you her real name
Thai people only use nicknames in everyday life and so they would introduce themselves as Gung instead of Supaporn or sometimes a shortened version of their formal name, i.e. Nam or Fon instead of Namfon. These nicknames are usually given by their parents and never get changed – except in some occasions when they deal with Farangs. The other day I met a girl who introduced herself as Ploy (พลอย) and as I said oh that’s quite a common name isn’t it she said yes, and it’s also easier for Farangs to pronounce than her “real nickname” which is Bplʉ̂m (ปลื้ม). She wasn’t even a hooker, by the way.
2. Thai Prostitute doesn’t tell you where she’s really from
So now that you got her nickname, whether that’s the real one or just the one for Farangs, of course the second question is usually “where you from?”. So you tell her and throw the ball back asking her so where are you from? She laughs and says “haha, I’m from Thailand!” You smile and say you know that but which province. An estimated 70% of the bargirls are from the poor northern or northeastern provinces and sometimes, when they feel that you “know much” (rúu yǝ́, รู้เยอะ), they don’t want to admit that and just say Bangkok. Later when you find out that she’s really from Sisaket and confront her with it she might say something like that she misunderstood you and thought you were asking where she was living.
3. Thai Prostitute lies about how long she’s been working in the bar
Have you ever met a Thai girl who told you on the first night that she’d been working in the bar for more than three weeks? And that she likes it? If you did, you were probably lucky for her to be honest as you don’t seem like the typical gullible tourist to her. The girls know that Farangs like the idea of meeting girls who have just recently started working in the bar in the hope of them to not see her as the typical prostitute and start falling in love with her, paying her bar fine every night or even make her stop working at the bar at all and paying them a “salary” (ngǝn dʉan, เงินเดือน) every month. Here again, when the Farang finds out she’s been hooking for more than a couple of weeks her excuse would be that she worked at a different bar before or at the karaoke in her home town.
4. Thai Prostitute doesn’t know how much for the bar fine
She says no one’s paid her bar fine yet because of no. 3.
5. Thai Prostitute tells you her wrong age
We always admire how the girls here look younger than they actually are. And they know that – because we tell them. So she says she’s 23 when she really is 28. Bargirls usually think they will meet their customers only once and so it doesn’t matter if they lie about their age. Another thing worth mentioning here is that many bar girls have children and come to work in the bars because their Thai guys have left them. You wouldn’t usually assume she has a baby just by how young and childish she looks – until she comes out of the bathroom at your place and you discover the stretch marks on her stomach.
6. Thai Prostitute “no have boyfriend”
She says she doesn’t have a boyfriend which is usually another typical lie as she’s in a relationship with a Thai guy and even lives with him together. He doesn’t have a problem with her working in the bar and going for short time with customers, usually he even tells her to do so and she would pay for his bills. These Thai guys usually don’t make much money, if they work at all they make less than 10,000 Baht a month and that’s clearly not sufficient to pay the lease for their nice motorcycle (4,000-6,000 Baht a month), their mobile phone, bottles of whiskeys and sometimes even drugs.
7. Thai Prostitute doesn’t feel well
You had a great night at her bar, paid for a lot of drinks and of course also her bar fine. You take her back to your hotel and after one hour of romancing, all of a sudden she starts coughing. “Mâi sàbai”, she says. Not feel well or how we would say: I’m sick. Strange you think, she was fine all night and seemed as active and talkative in the bar as usual. You suggest to walk with her to the pharmacy but she says no, it’s late already and she wants you to sleep. She will go back to her room and she got medicine there, too. “See you tomorrow na.” You’re still confused but don’t worry too much as you’re really tired and just agree. Do you even think about the possibility that this was her seventh lie this evening?
8. Thai Prostitute doesn’t let you see her room
After a few months seeing her and regularly paying her bar fine you probably want to know more about her private life. So you ask her if you can see her room on her day off. She says she is shy because her room is very small and dirty. Or it’s too far away. Or even in a dangerous area. But more typical these days is that she tells you she’s staying with her friend who doesn’t like her to bring men to the room. From my experience, in 50% of the cases this is true as they’re trying to split costs for the room rent but at least in half of the cases it’s just another lie as she’s staying with her Thai boyfriend.
9. Thai Prostitute “stop go with other Farang”
So one day you come to her bar and she’s not there. You ask one of the girls where she is and they say it’s her day off. The following day you ask her why she hasn’t told you it’s her day off, you two could have spent the whole day together. She says she only knows one day in advance when she got a day off. You ask her why she didn’t call you, she says telephone money finish.
A few days later your friend tells you he saw her going with another Farang the other day. You confront her with that and she says they only went for dinner. “He not boom boom me”, she says. “He old and lonely, we only eat together. Why you always think I lie? I love you. I have you, only one.”
10. Thai Prostitute needs money
Her brother is sick and needs to buy medicine. Her dad can’t pay the lease of the motorcycle this month. Her son needs to buy clothes and books for school. The water buffalo has died. And she kindly asks you for support because she “no have money“. These stories might not always be a lie but sometimes it turns out that it’s not her dad in upcountry Isaan who can’t pay the lease for his motorcycle, but her Thai boyfriend. Or the medicine that her brother needs isn’t actually her real brother but just a close friend of her and the medicine he so urgently needs is called ya-ba (yaa-bâa ยาบ้า). If you find out later and confront her with it she might say: “I told you already. You never understand me.”
11. Thai Prostitute loves you
When a bargirl tells you that she love you too much, that’s not because of your character but because she appreciates your financial support. Never forget why these girls come to work in the bar in the first place: They do it because they want to earn money and not because they want to find the love of their lives. Sure they’d be happy to stop working if you take care of her and pay her a monthly salary so she’ll keep on telling you “I love you Teerak. Thank you for everything you do for me”. Just try and stop giving her money and ask her to take up a job in the mall, supermarket or cafe. Bar girls are lazy and once they got used to their lifestyle it’s very unlikely that they are willing to change it for you. Unless you find one who really just started working in the bars 2 weeks ago.
In the end it comes down to the thing that Thai prostitutes always try to tell you what you want to hear, rather than the truth which might often lead to conflicts and someone potentially losing face or in this case even worse (!) – missing out on potential money.